Dizzy. Dizzy. O_____o''''''

Oh no..its all coming back.. no, no, no, no... wei shen me? i tried hard to conceal it.. to bury it.. and to forget it.. but why, oh, why it easily crept out once again? coz I shouldn't feel this way anymore.. not now.. but i know i am fooling myself to say i have moved on.. doesn't it? aiyo...  the ji du feeling whenever...whenever... i cannot say.. but its just like that.. im in control.. i always tell myself that but my heart wont accept wo.. you know i have this feeling that its closing in on me.. i have this sudden urge to notice it but of course--with pride and dignity, its not that easy.. i dont know but i am all clueless.. want something? need something? initially yes.. kai xin, kai xin.. but not inside.. of course i want to feel the xinfu that everybody deserves that's why I forced myself to be kai xin.. i did yet something's missing.. naaaahh.. afterall, i still find myself longing for it.. im really good at pretending..haha.. but wo zhong xin wont lie.. i suddenly remember what our professor told us.. if ni di ai you ren, no matter what, ai will never be gone.. wo fei chang, fei chang dizzy now..not literally (quite literally..hehe..) wo kun huo la.. (-__-)'''' lao tian..